Believe it or not yea freedom exist
not just a hope a prayer or a distant wish
you can live vikariously through it
or even do like nike and just do it
yea freddom exist, close ya eyes and make a wish
look up to the big bro or big sis
freedoms all around you
yea! freedoms all around you
make sure you surround yourself with goodness
before you wishin you had class you could miss
aye we got a black president
people said it couldnt be done look at the precidence
yea freedoms all around you
dive in and take a new step, prove poeple worng that doubt you
show them even a youngin like you can make it happen
freedoms all around.....
i junderstand about limist and opportunity
but even the army says be all you can be
freedoms all around, freedoms all around
find the right beat and the right sound
to let them all know you sticking around
just do it like nike said
sky is the limit get outta ya head
freedoms all around
be like obama dont succomb to the norm
create the one and only you storm.
this will be to a beat called say you will by kanye west
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So I am loving these, Ashleigh! I wish I could hear you speaking or rapping it rather than the clearly uncool voice in my head, but hopefully during your presentation! Anyway, my favorite part about this piece is the idea that you are calling out to the freedom around us all and saying just to do it, but then you even show that freedom in your intentional misspellings and dialect. It is as though it isn't enough just to say to see and feel the freedom, but you have to do something extraordinary to embrace the freedom like screwing with language just because you can, because you have the freedom.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I would love to see in this is maybe more controversy. I see that you want us to see the freedom and act on it, but what is holding anyone back? When has there been a time when there was no freedom? What makes Obama the example to follow? Is it to be assumed that because he is black, that is the example or freedom? Maybe you could bring out some of those times when freedom wasn't around and show how it can be or should be now. Just some thoughts. Loved it! Keep it up!
Great post, Ashleigh! I'm definitely reading this as a spoken poem, something that might be read at some of the poetry slams we've had the last few semesters. I also like the positive aspect of it: Most everything we've covered thus far concerning liberties and freedoms and power relationships have been focused on the negative aspects of a dominating force holding down the submissive side. This poem appears to be entirely about freedom as an idea and a force that cannot be held back, that is within the grasp of anyone willing to reach out for it. It produces a feeling of hope and a kind of culural model of the 'be all you can be, be free' idea.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Mallory that both sides should be represented, but I think by keeping the positive sentiments of freedom as a goal together and separate in their own song/poem will make later poems concerning the obstacles to that freedom more powerful.