this is more of a spoken song rather than rapped....its goes along with this song by Meshell N and its called beautiful
i feel as if i want to concure the world
some say i can, some say i cant, why not give it a whirl
can i let you in on a secret...
i just wanna push they buttons
i dont really wanna do it.
just cuz i can i want to see
all the wonders that surround me
i heard the world was beautiful
i want to see it all
why is it so hard to survive
teachers tell us that we just need a drive
but moms not always home and dad is just there
sometimes i wanna take over the world so theyd care
freedom...yea right
im just stuck here thinking bout it
never gonna be in my sight
where would i start you right, here in my head
while im layin in the bed, nothing is said
its all thoughts of what could be, who i could become
but hell im just anohter person, to dumb to succomb and make a run
freedom is there but i want it for the wrong reasons...
i change my mind faster than the seasons....
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Are you making a book of poetry? It seems to me this is a poem about the struggle to succeed. We are always told to go out and be somebody after college but what? How are we to do that? Many times I feel like all I can do is think about what I want to be when I grow up but most of the times it feels like just an image, like I'm never actually going to get to that dream. I like the images in your poem. What is the general focus of your project? Is it the power struggle of survival, or are there many different power relations, with each poem different?
ReplyDeleteDid you read my mind? Yeah, it's going to be interesting to listen to. Freedom... it's a word, with so much connotation and such a loaded meaning, but what is it really - hell, does it even exist? It's an intriguing thing to explore, one that I think the people miss the complexity of. In this country where it's a centerpiece of all social preaching, so much so that it's stale. So it's striking to deny that perception of an open future, the all-consuming nature of it, becoming nothing... particularly with voice.
ReplyDeleteSo I am loving the somewhat motivational tones of these pieces. I know you have geared a lot of the raps or songs around freedom, but this piece in particular, unlike some of the others, seems to have an odd twist at the end. It seems like it was not just about the ideal thought of freedom but like something was there possibly plaguing it or holding it back. I thought the ambiguity of what may have caused that, especially with the "..." was effective. I would maybe elaborate or flesh this song out a bit. Maybe have a refrain of some kind or something to say who it is that you want to listen, to care. What is the purpose of the narrator? Great work!
ReplyDeleteAshley,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this. I thought it was catchy, and I think your lyrics are improving from the start of your postings. I think it's interesting that the lyrics connote indecisiveness. The narrator is not sure why he/she wants freedom, but they know they want it. One of the recurring themes I have detected in your work is struggle. The narrator emphasizes an ideal, and then sings about the struggle in society actualizing that ideal into a reality. Language such as: "i heard the world was beautiful
i want to see it all
why is it so hard to survive
teachers tell us that we just need a drive"
..capture the idea of Other-World and an idelogy. I would like you to do one big thing in this work and future works that might help out. Instead of just telling us what society does, tell us what they SHOULD do too. in telling us what paths we should be taking to acheive our ideals, you are both making a statement and simultaneously critiquing the present system. Nice work, keep on adding to your songs/poetry. I really enjoy reading it.