Well, this may be my girly side coming out, but I've always been interested in relationships and who has more power within them. Is it always the person who isn't as committed who has the power? Or is it something else? For some reason or another, both people always know, whether they will admit it to themselves or not, who has more power within their romantic relationship - so, I'm going to try and identify it.
What I've come up with isn't totally complete yet. I'm hoping things will reveal themselves once I start going. For the first part, I'm going to find at least 15 couples, either long-term or ones who have just started dating, and take B&W portraits of them. I'll put those photos next to each other in a book, 1 couple per page, and under it have certain things written. As for the rest, I'll put them in separate rooms and interview them apart from each other, recording them on my computer as well as taking notes. My basic question will be "who has more power in your relationship and why do you think that is?" I'll also have them give me an example.
What I'm afraid of is getting false answers, or having people tell me what they think I want to hear..."oh I think we both are very equal"...yeah right. I mean this happens sometimes, but I somehow need a way to get an honest answer out of these people and I'm not really sure how do to it. If you have any other ideas for what questions I should ask, don't hesitate. Also, if you read this and are in a relationship, let me know!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Olivia, I think this is a great idea. I heard a long time ago that the "One who loves the least controls the relationship" and have often wondered about that point. I have often found through casual observation of folks I know that one is usually more dominant than the other or that one is more passive while the other leans more toward the type A personality. I've often wondered why those two, the yin and yang people are so attracted to each other. My wife and I are prime examples. I am happy-go-lucky and she is very particular about what she needs. We have gotten along, and not, in a very happy marriage for nearly twenty-four years.
ReplyDeleteHave you thought of talking to a marriage councilor? Without getting into the HIPPA laws, you might be able to glean some info about statistics of couples who have signs of this kind of relationship. This is a fascinating subject to me and not too girly, so don't think that, unless I'm being girly too.
Olivia, this topic is very interesting. I just got out of a relationship that I am trying to analyze myself, in regards to power and "love." It was a relationship that began when we were together in the same place, then it went to long distance. We traveled back and forth to see each other and everything was great. Then as time passed and we began to see each other less and less, things started to change. He got more controlling and seemed to hold more of the power because of this.
ReplyDeleteThe point to this is, I would also look into interviewing people who were recently in a relationship, but aren't anymore. This way, maybe either side would be more willing to tell you the truth- since it won't directly affect the other person.
You should also consider the fact that people might now want their answers public- that could always sway their answers one way or the other. You could also come up with a set of questions that do NOT use the word "power," but instead use questions that would get at that as a final goal. Or you could interview the couples together and ask them any random question about their relationship. Do they argue? Do they agree? Maybe one person rolls over and says "Yeah, you're right." Maybe one is quick to judge or assume something about the other person, etc.
If you ever need someone to interview I think I could give you a lot of good examples- maybe unfortunately, but true.
Olivia -
ReplyDeleteI think this is an interesting and really personal way to look at power relationships. You could (if you have the time/will) start looking into the way relationships are portrayed on the big screen and how they go about doing that, since so much of what we think of relationships is defined by what we see people on T.V doing.
I also like Mandy's idea of making up questions that don't use the word "power" -- their responses may be less guarded or defensive. There's a lot of psychology inherent in this idea, and that might be worth investigating as well -- especially differences in the way members of that relationship sound when they speak. I think you have a very complex, worthwhile idea.
Check out the song "Love like the movies" by The Avett Brothers. I think it will help. Maybe. If not it's a catchy song.
ReplyDeleteOlivia,
ReplyDeleteWhy hello. Okay, I read this a couple days ago, and I just read it again, and I think I have some good ideas.
I think the interviews will work better if you don't explicitly ask "Who has more power in your relationship...YOU or HIM/HER?" I believe this is something you'd need to devote a lot of time to if you're looking to get truthful material. Getting to know the people you interview on a personal level before you ask them to strip is important. As the interviewer, you need to be figuratively naked. You can't expect a naked person to open up to someone who is clothed, you feel me? You'd want the people you are interviewing to be relaxed and comfortable.
There is, to my mind, an assumed sort of power structure within the realm of an interview. I think the interviewer possesses a tacit power over the interviewee because the interviewer is the one who is letting down his/her guard. As Mandy and Rachel suggest, using the word "power" in interviews is something I'd advise against. Or perhaps, you can be really forward in some of the interviews and use the word "power," and see how this impacts the responses. I'm guessing the more forward you are, the more guarded the person being interviewed will be.
I think you're on to something really cool! i like that you're using black and white photography. I'm all about it.