So a lot of the thinking and free writing I have done per Cathy's suggestion has persistently lead to questions of life and death. More importantly, who decides who lives or dies and who has decided in the past? One of my most recent freewrites that I would like to share focuses more on life. Basically, I created a catalogue of life experiences that begin with the same phrase "I have." these phrases are intended to capture a variety of life experience, but in a past tense framework, as if the person speaking is already gone. I'll go more into detail in my proposal...but I'm thinking that all these "doo-dads" of writing are going to end up in a chapbook....tentatively entitled "end of life issues" (the buzz phrase thrown around during the healthcare debate) or something to do with the idea of killing with words.
Another thought before I post a portion of the free write: there's a teaching in Judaism known as lushon hara. Basically, it means to gossip or talk about another person behind their back. (There's a lot of other things it can mean too, but that's the basic meaning.) The teaching states that talking about another person behind their back is worse than physically hurting them. An interesting concept for this project of mine...killing someone with words (whose words? the questions go on and on...)
Anyway, more stuff that will eventually be a poem/fiction piece. (Mal: I'm definitely doing something a la 'Severance' for this chap book too...thought you would enjoy that.)
here you go:
I have stood in perfect thrill at the top of a snowy hill, sled at my feet.
I have stumbled home drunk, laughing.
I have crashed my bicycle into a tree.
I have picked the itchy scabs.
I have been in the room with someone only a few hours old, twice.
I have caught my mother's puke in a basin.
I have wiped her mouth.
I have smoked weed all night and gone for a long, losty drive in the country.
I have floated half naked on salt seas.
I have gulped chocolate milk.
I have failed a math test.
I have cried to my toys about failing that math test.
I have given those toys away.
I have held a girl under my chin, her black hair in the creases of my mouth.
I have fucked the living shit out of you.
I have been afraid of the dark.
I have sought exits from awkward class rooms.
I have switched gods.
I have wrapped myself in my country's flag.
I have wept.
I have spent too much money on shoes.
I have put a roof on a house in the Mississippi sun.
I have pierced my lip.
I have loved.
I have attempted to paint a portrait.
I have programmed my computer to my specifications.
I have lied to my parents' faces about getting in late.
I have walked barefoot across a golf course.
I have let music's open jaws consume me.
I have held a newborn kitten before you were supposed to.
I have finally peed after waiting for an eternity.
I have gone a week without brushing my teeth.
I have made my bed according to my specifications.
I have created new games in the pool with my sister.
I have hidden Easter eggs.
I have had a boa constrictor coiled around my neck.
I have been courageous.
I have made friends on the first day.
I have lost those friends.
enjoy!
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Ah yes, another post by Allison and this time a special treat: a personalized note to me in the preface! How fun! Anyway, Al, as you know I love to read your work. It is always so fascinating to me to see what comes out of your mind next. And I mean that, clearly, in the absolute most complimentary of ways. This free write was so multi-faceted and I love that. I feel like I'm not 100% sure what is going on with your project, especially if you are doing a "Severance"-esque chapbook, but I think I would understand if one of the sections covered is you. Is that correct? So instead of Marie Antoinette or Anne Bolelyn you are doing yourself? Correct me if I'm wrong. Even if that isn't what you are doing, I am extremely excited to see the next step!
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of a live voice talking as if they are gone already. I think it creates a cool juxtaposition of your two points: life and death. I am also curious how this free write connects to your notion of killing with words, or does it? Maybe I just need to be patient for the next installment of Al's mindworks. Anyway, I hope next time you go into death. I think these free writes are interesting and powerful in themselves. Do you plan on including others in your project at all? Maybe your "Severance" stuff could be contributions from others and their free writes on life and death. Just some suggestions! Can't wait for next week!
Write on!
Allisonnn,
ReplyDeleteI loved the free-write once again! I asked you this- but I could definitely tell that some of those life experiences where yours. I very much enjoyed reading the random experiences and seeing what would come next.
For example:
I have lied to my parents' faces about getting in late.
I have walked barefoot across a golf course.
(Maybe this is why you got in late? Because you were taking in life & not caring about the repercussions of what living in the moment really means? I want to know this!)
I have let music's open jaws consume me.
I have held a newborn kitten before you were supposed to.
(Jaws --> newborn kitten - these two contrasts are very interesting. It intrigues me.)
Each new line brought something to the table...I could read a hundred more of these and still want more.
So great work!
On the suggestion note:
I was thinking you could utilize the idea of life&death as a cycle, and pleasure&pain as a cycle. I'm in a Philosophy class right now and we talk a lot about these two ideas. The last class we talked about the idea of reincarnation- and how the life we live now effects the next one after. If life is a cycle of life and death and also pleasure and pain...is life pleasure and death pain? Or life pain and death pleasure? If someone is suffers in life and then dies- wouldn't the death be pleasure, taking that person away from hurt and pain? I'm not sure, but maybe you could explore this idea. If one is constantly being bullied, gossiped about, and ridiculed, and in pain- maybe the thing that comes after it would be less painful. And if these people that are the cause of the ridicule are in pleasure, then maybe what comes after for them will be pain. It's just a thought- sort of morbid, but also very interesting, and maybe something to think about.
I can explain more if any of this isn't clear.
Great ideas! Keep em comin!
I like the poem! I am a bit resistant to the abstractions though. I LOVE the concrete images you have evoked in many of the lines. Walking barefoot across a golf course and making your bed to YOUR specifications are great lines that paint a very definite picture of someone who is very free in their thinking but at the same time very defined in their practices. I just wish the whole poem was that concrete.
ReplyDeleteThe other thing is the POV of the speaker. I like the idea of the life/death concept but I wish the speaker was speaking from beyond the grave as it were. As if the writer was channeling. I just read some stuff by other authors in my American Lit class in which the poet was writing from the POV of the dead people in a town. He actually created the whole town from the voices of the dead, which I thought was a very cool concept.
This could also raise a cool issue of the powerlessness of those departed, if there is an afterlife at all...